Thanks, Heather!

Your results:
You are Deanna Troi

Deanna Troi 95% Uhura 80% Geordi LaForge 75% Will Riker 65% Jean-Luc Picard 60% Mr. Scott 50% Chekov 50% Worf 50% Beverly Crusher 40% Spock 35% Data 32% James T. Kirk (Captain) 30% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 25% Mr. Sulu 25% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 20%

You are a caring and loving individual. You understand people's emotions and you are able to comfort and counsel them.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

Gone Crazy

Sigh.

It's a holiday weekend which means the 'chick was released from work early, at 1:00. This is good news.

The bad news is that when she got home, it was to a house full of teenagers.

The 'chick intended on coming home and doing some cleaning before the weekend officially got underway, especially since it seems like forever ago since she did a good cleaning.

It's very difficult to clean while teenagers are in the house. They move away from cleaning implements (natural avoidance) but wander back into just cleaned areas once the scary objects have gone away.

By scary objects, the 'chick means dust rags, vacuums, glass cleaner, etc.

So, after 2 hours, what is clean is the kitchen (since there is no food in the house, there is no reason for teenagers to go in there), the 'chick's bedroom and her bathroom.

The living room looks like Taco Bell at closing time.

The guest bathroom is like the boys' locker room after wrestling practice.

The dining room is passable (only because there are no electronic devices in there and there is no food in the kitchen).

And, the 'chick gives up. The urge has passed.

If they go away, there will be a quick wipedown of surfaces in the living room and the vacuum cleaner will be pushed around the carpeting.

The odds of them going away are slim because Rockboy's car is down for repairs following a catastrophic failure last week. Redneck is fixing it, but he's had to do it between maintaining his own paid employment. Fixing Rockboy's car does not constitute paid employment although Redneck would probably say that there are benefits to it.

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. Stay safe!

At Odds

This morning, on the way to work, the 'chick was stopped at a red light coming off the interstate.

At this particular exit, the homeless tend to hang out from time to time, holding up signs.

The man this morning was dressed neatly and was holding a sign that said: "Please help if you can. God bless."

As the 'chick sat and waited for the light to change, the man stood up and walked away. When he was a little way down the sidewalk, he threw the sign down in the grass and kept going.

This has bothered the 'chick since she saw it - the throwing down of the sign, maybe because it was at such odds with the nice, polite message on the front. Kind of like, if you'll help me, bless you. If you won't (or can't), fuck you, AND, feel free to pick up my trash.

But, Of Course!

Please excuse this meme-break in the yearbook action. The 'chick wasn't up to shuffling through dusty yearbooks over the weekend.

In the meantime (shamelessly stolen from Susan):

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

We're So Great, Can't You See

Coz we're the Class of '83

8th grade:

From a BFF(?): "It was a blast this year and being best friends for awhile. Sorry it couldn't work out. I can't say I'll miss you since I see you at Provi all the time. It was cool writing about Jerry and Petey on all our folders all the time. Well have a good summer and I'll have to take you to the club to meet Jeanne sometime."

We were actually BFFs for two more years into high school. Jerry and Petey were two neighborhood burnouts that we ragged mercilessly. Jerry had a severe southern accent (and this was in Northern Illinois) and we called him 'Lil Georgia Peach' which just really pissed him off. Petey was a year or so older than us and was always trying to get one (or both) of us to go off into the woods with him. As IF!

- And - does this not start out like she's totally breaking up with the 'chick??? WTF?

From a stalker-like girl who wanted to be friends: "It was fun being in your homeroom. Hope to see ya a lot at the ball field. We'll watch Nick together."

Nick did NOT know we even existed. He was almost ready to graduate high school. He may have noticed the 'chick because she had bodacious tatas even at 13, but not being the cradle-robbing sort, he did not speak to us.

From the burnout of '82 who called the 'chick an omelette: "Will you feed the horse?"

Apparently, this young friend had been shooting horse.

From the narc of '82: "I'm sooo glad that we became better buds this year (even though we had our tiffs) & it's a DA_N shame that you're going to Provi. I hope that we see each other in Beverly Hills when you're Mrs. Robert Lowe & I'm Mrs. C. Thomas Howell, otay? Buds forever!"

Ah yes, The Outsiders. ~swoon~ The 'chick can still recite that poem:
Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold
Her early leaf's a flower
But only so an hour.
So leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to grief
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.
- Robert Frost
Stay gold, Ponyboy!
(Please excuse the 'chick while she gets a tissue.)

From an 8th grade stud: "Don't forget me, I know it's hard."

Who the hell was he?

From ANOTHER BFF: "Ello! You're a true fiend. You and Laura are my best buds. I wish you were going to L-Way. I'm really gonna miss ya. We've had a blast in 8th and in 7th while we were partners. I'm glad we've grown to be such close friends. I'll never forget you, hon. Hey, I'm really sorry if I hurt your bod, but I mean it could have happened to anyone!! None of it was intentional (whatever). If you never speak to me again I'll understand. I truly will. Well, we'll have to go somewhere over the summer so we can reminacese. See ya bud! Keep in touch because a life without me is a life without guys. What could you do without them."

We were science partners in 8th grade chemistry. We regularly tried to set fire to things and toasted marshmallows in our alcohol burner. The 'chick cannot remember what the girl did to hurt her bod. . .no doubt in gym class or science. No telling.

From ANOTHER burnout: "Don't start my bod hobbits mon, because they can really screw you up. So have fun over the summer and party hard! Good luck with the guys!"

Ok, so don't start your bad habits (getting high/drinking) but party hard over the summer. Oxymoron, anyone?

And over and over and over again, there were references to the fact that at least the 'chick would no longer have to be worried about hanging from the chandelier. Since the 'chick could not remember EVER actually hanging from a chandelier, she had to think about this one for a little while and then she remembered. There was a language arts teacher who did not particularly enjoy young teens and their shenanigans. The 'chick was excellent at shenanigans. When the 'chick would instigate shenanigans, this particular teacher would threaten to hang the 'chick and her compatriots from the nearest handy chandelier. What annoyed the battle axe even more is that the 'chick was excellent at language arts so she could not be flunked.

In the next episode, we will delve into the dark world of high school yearbooks. There is some seriously hot gossip in there, darlings.

Stay sweet!

Time Trippin'

While cleaning out a closet, the 'chick ran across a stack of her old yearbooks. Remember when you couldn't wait to get your yearbook and have everyone sign it?

Let's blow the dust off and crack the cover, shall we?

This one is from the 7th grade, in 1982.

(All typos are exactly as written in blue Bic ink.)

From the captain of the volleyball team: "I'm glad we became good freinds. Too bad I won't see you next year. I call you and maybe come over. F/F (friends forever)"

From the 7th grade sex god whose last name was House: "Stay cool over the summer. If you want to keep your family small, stay away from Houses."

From a burn-out: "You remind me of an omellette! Just kidding!" (WTF? That still doesn't make sense.)

From a BFF: "Beware of boys with eyes of brown, they'll kiss you once then strip you down! Sorry I narced! P.S. Good luck with you-know-who!" (Who the hell was you-know-who? Someone that the 'chick was sure she would NEVER forget. . . and can't remember now. And what did the BFF narc about? Probably something that landed the 'chick in detention, no doubt.)

Proving the 'chick's stalker tendencies started early: "Hi! What's up? Mabey I'll see you in Cherry Hill some day! You drive me crazy sometimes but have a nice summer anyway! WITHOUT CALLING EVERY NIGHT!!! Ha Just Kidding! but don't anyway!"

And again: "It was fun in lunch and don't forget to be mean to Kim! She's dead! Stay nice as you are & hope your in other classes next year." (Who was Kim? Why did we want her dead? Did she narc? What was the narcing about? Damn!)

And hung around with stalkers: "Have fun over the summer and say hi to your brother with the earring for me!"

And more haters: "I do not even like Dawn R." with an arrow pointing to a weird, ugly bird used as a trademark by the yearbook company. (Apparently, he really did NOT like Dawn R.)

Referring to parties, possibly: "Don't puke on your bedsheets." (This could explain the memory lapses.)

Everyone wanted to be "Friends Forever" and wished the 'chick "Good Luck with the Boys!". Everyone wanted to hang out over the summer and wrote down phone numbers.

God, we thought we were SO grown and when the 'chick looked through the pictures, we were such infants with NO idea what the world was really like. We actually thought we would be BFFs and F/Fs and stay sweet and keep in touch.

Since there is still a stack of yearbooks yet to go, stay tuned for another installment of the BFF files.

Weekend Update

So, camping.

Redneck was in NO hurry to get to the campsite. Roadchick, however, was in a hurry to get to the campsite because, camping! fun! swimming! hot dogs! beer! But Redneck was all heat! humidity! blazing sunshine! bugs! In the end, Redneck won and after a massive shopping trip at Walmart, the Roadie crew finally made their way to the campsite around 6 pm.

When they got there, Redneck parked the truck down by the river and the Roadie crew got out and talked to everyone that had been there all day. After much chat, Redneck and Roadchick decided it was time to put up the tent. Since Roadchick doesn't have a lot of experience (any) putting up tents, she was the helper. The tarp was spread under the trees and Redneck laid out the tent. The poles were threaded through the channels and the tent rose from the ground. And sagged. Like an old woman's boobs. After much fiddling and a conference with other experienced campers, it was determined that the poles were not the correct poles for the tent. Another trip to Walmart was in order. Redneck brought back another tent and it went up without a hitch. He threw the air mattress inside and hooked up the little rechargeable pump to inflate the mattress. It worked like a charm - for 15 seconds, then promptly died and the mattress deflated. Redneck and Roadchick looked at each other and shrugged.

Skaterboy had a great time tubing in the river while Redneck and Roadchick had gone back to Walmart for the tent. By the time the new tent was set up, it was getting too dark to get in the river. Too dark, you ask? Yes. There are snakes in the river. Some poisonous, some not. While the 'chick is not afraid of snakes, she would like to see them coming. So, everyone hung around the campfire for a little while and then Redneck, Roadchick, and Cousin Too-Hottie went fishing. Redneck caught a couple of catfish that he released again. Too-Hottie caught hell from his girlfriend for fishing instead of smooching around the campfire with her. Roadchick caught a chill from sitting out in the damp after being overheated for half the day.

Back to the campfire for a few more hours until finally Roadchick decided it was time for bed. On the hard, hard ground. Skaterboy was woken up and dragged from his lounge chair by the fire and herded to the tent. He crawled inside on the left and promptly fell asleep again. (Oh, to be 10 again!) Redneck crawled inside and thought he was going to sleep on the right until Roadchick informed him that it was his son that kicked like a mule and she wasn't sleeping in the middle. Redneck grumbled but moved over, figuring that since there was no air mattress, he'd better smooth things over as best he could. Roadchick crawled inside and tried to get part of the sheet under her to cover the plastic (flat) air mattress and rolled up in a beach towel (damp) and snuggled against Redneck in the hopes of absorbing his body heat since he wasn't cold at all.

There was a lump under the 'chick. There were rocks under Redneck. And, as it turns out, there was part of a tree root (sticking up) under Skaterboy, but since he is a contortionist, he curled around it and it didn't bother him at all. The cows in the next pasture mooed around from time to time which was ok, in fact, kind of soothing. The crickets were chirping. The frogs were croaking. The cousin in the tent next door was snoring like a fucking freight train. If the 'chick had not been so tired, she would've gone over there and smothered him with a pillow.

It was a long, long night. Towards dawn, the 'chick could hear coyotes howling in the distance. When the coyotes would start up, the jackass (seriously, a jackass, not a cousin) would start braying. Then the birds woke up and started singing and that was when the 'chick decided enough was enough and got up. Redneck (who was also awake) asked where she was going. She told him that she was going anywhere that she didn't have to lay on the hard, hard ground rolled up in a damp towel.

It heats up quickly in Tennessee, especially on a gravel beach next to a river. Redneck had thought ahead and brought a camp coffee pot and made coffee for the 'chick, which was much appreciated. After a few hours, everyone else was up and moving and the Roadie crew started breaking down the tent and packing everything up again.

As a farewell gesture, Redneck drove his 4-wheel drive truck into the river. Not straight in - just a glancing blow, to shower everyone with water. As gestures go, it was spectacular. Until the truck sank into the mud of the riverbed. When Redneck opened the door on his side of the truck, the river promptly began to enter the truck. Roadchick and Skaterboy promptly bailed out on the other side and stood on the riverbank watching. After much macho fooling around by Redneck and the male cousins, the truck was pulled out by another truck with a tow chain.

And, since you have read this far, Patient Reader, you will be glad to know this: the 'chick peed outdoors and did not once have to wash her shoes in the river.

Disclaimer: the photo above, while amazingly accurate to the situation, does not contain any of the Roadie crew.

Did Someone Say Bandwagon?

So, the 'chick stole this from Fringes, who stole it from Moo, who stole it from . . . blah blah blah. Go look. It's worth a few clickitys but NOT before you check it out here!

The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

The questions that inspired the photos:
1. What is your first name? Cynthia
2. What is your favorite food? Cherries
3. What high school did you go to? Providence
4. What is your favorite color? Blue
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Kid Rock
6. Favorite drink? Dirty Martinis
7. Dream vacation? Traveling Route 66
8. Favorite dessert? Chocolate-dipped strawberries
9. What you want to be when you grow up? A photographer
10. What do you love most in life? Love
11. One word to describe you. Smart(ass)
12. Your flickr name. Roadchick (what else?)

The 'chick's mosaic:


You can also visit the 'chick's Flickr page for a larger view - click on the Flickr link in the right column.

Have a great weekend!

The Great Outdoor Bathroom Experiment

Redneck has informed the 'chick that this weekend, they will be going camping. That's fine, except that the 'chick has never GONE camping.

While she is sure that she will enjoy it, there is one area of concern. Just a little concern, of a delicate nature.

Where they are going camping is truly the Great Outdoors which means . . . no restroom facilities.

This is fine for the guys. They are handily equipped for just such an adventure.

The 'chick? Not so much.

So, over the past few days, the 'chick put out a call to the other females in her office to get some advice.

1. Pee downhill.
2. If you can't pee downhill, it's better to take your shoes off.
3. If you can't take your shoes off, wear washable shoes.
4. If possible, take off all lower garments, including shoes.
5. Whenever possible, pee downhill.

Helpful hints in comments.

Granola Crunchy

It's been quiet around here for a few weeks, hasn't it?

Life in the Real World has been busy - nothing earth shattering, just day-to-day stuff like laundry, getting the grass cut, an endless round of graduations (from pre-school to high school), and things like that.

And, while the 'chick was quietly minding her own business, living her own life, all of a sudden the economy took a turn for the worse and gas went up to almost $4.00 a gallon and all of a sudden there wasn't a whole lot of extra money anymore. The 'chick drives for her job and has to drive TO her job and Rockboy was between jobs and having a hard time keeping gas in his car . . .

Anyway, what is the point, you ask?

The point is this: All of a sudden, it seemed like everything was terrifying and falling apart and OH GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING.

Sound familiar? The mean reds, all over again.

But while everything was swirling around and looking desperate, the 'chick was smacked upside the head not once but twice.

By these:




Sometimes, it takes the equivalent of an anvil falling on her head for the 'chick to realize things. For instance, did you know that most of the food we eat comes from Elsewhere?

Elsewhere is usually Far Away. And takes a lot of fuel in the process of getting to where you are. And when the food gets to Here from Elsewhere, it's been on the road for at least 5 days, if not more. So it is not picked when it's ripe - it's picked when it will ship well.

And, did you know that you are probably eating more corn than you thought? You are. It's in everything. Including things like the hamburger you ate. Because They (large, corporate entities) force cattle to eat corn instead of wandering around pasture, eating grass like God intended. (Did you know that cattle are not supposed to eat corn? If you did, you get bonus points. The 'chick did not know. They are not made for it.) And while you were eating that hamburger, you also got a nice dose of growth hormone and antibiotics.

So, all of that good news made the 'chick panic just a little bit more, because, why worry ONLY about the price of gas when you can worry about a few more things like chemicals and feedlots and NO GAS TO BRING IN THE FOOD BECAUSE DIESEL IS ALMOST $5.00/gallon.

Did you know that if you go to a farmer's market in your town, odds are really good that you can get organic or beyond-organic produce that was grown by someone close to where you live? And meat? And eggs? And milk that is not full of antibiotics and growth hormone? And all kinds of cool stuff like homemade soap and candles and even clothes? And if you buy local, you're helping your neighbor while doing something good for yourself and your family.

Is this all sounding a little granola-crunchy for you and you're wondering if the 'chick has lost her mind?

It's possible. And the 'chick has not thrown out everything that was in her fridge or pantry only to fill it with brown rice and bean sprouts. She will still go out to eat, but maybe not as much and not to McDonald's.

But - the 'chick is going to think a little harder about what she's buying and WHERE it came from and how much it cost to get it here. And what is actually in it. And what that might eventually do to her health.

And she's going to the farmer's market this weekend, to see what the farmers have to offer. According to the list that was emailed - it looks like strawberries (locally grown) are in . . . and about 10 kinds of salad greens . . . and homemade bread . . . and some plants to stick in the ground at home. Heirloom tomatoes, anyone?

Roadchick Hearts Awards

Rules:
This is an experiment devised by a friend (Autrice). Go visit her. Here.

Please feel free to pass this award along to friends that you feel blog with heart (we all love an award or six.)

The rules:

1. Please write a short post explaining why you are giving this award out. You may include up to three people as winners. Provide the rules and the graphic link (you can use your own host or simply use the code that I provide.)

2. Stop by that person’s blog and leave them a short comment that tracks back to your own blog (and these rules.)

3. Make sure that you include the image on your own page. Please do not alter the image! You can save the image to your own computer or picture hosting service.

So, without further ado, the 'chick is presenting the award to:

Heather because she tells it like it is: good, bad, or ugly.

Susan because reading her blog is like living her life, peeking over her shoulder

and, last, but not least

Neilochka because he lets it all hang out.

Go on. Go look. You know you wanna.

Happy Mother's Day?

There are some holidays that the 'chick doesn't believe are worth the effort.

Mother's Day is one of them.

If you would like to do something nice for your mother, do the laundry. Or clean the house. Hell, clean the bathroom or pick up your dirty socks.

Rockboy asked the 'chick forty-eleven times what she wanted for Mother's Day and the 'chick answer was the same every time:

Nothing. Because next you're going to ask to borrow money and that spoils the entire exercise.

So, Rockboy, thinking ahead as always (by 5 minutes) stopped at the gas station on his way home Saturday night and bought 3 dead roses in a cellophane sleeve and then WOKE the 'chick up to present them to her.

Happy Mother's Day, y'all.

Toothless

Redneck had to go in to work very early this morning - he was actually working by 3:00 a.m. He was finished with what he had to do by about 7:30 so he called the 'chick to see if she wanted to go to breakfast before going to work. The 'chick, ever agreeable to eating breakfast, agreed to meet Redneck at a Shoney's not too far from her office.

While Redneck and the 'chick were eating, an elderly lady was seated in the booth directly behind Redneck but was facing the 'chick so she could see what was going on.

The lady got her breakfast from the buffet and sat back down. While she was eating, she was carrying on a conversation the entire time with her finger held up to her left ear. The 'chick figured that the lady had a Bluetooth and couldn't quite hear so was pressing it into her ear a little more tightly to improve the sound.

As Redneck and the 'chick were leaving, they passed by the old lady's booth. Much to Roadchick's amusement, the old lady had her finger plugged into her ear and was speaking into her finger, not a Bluetooth in sight.

Portrait of the 'chick in 50 years.

It's Thursday - Again

Y'all, it's been Thursday for four days.

Ever have a week like that? The 'chick keeps thinking "Oh good, it's almost Friday" . . . and it's not.

Redneck changed jobs a few weeks ago and while the new job is a good one, it's a second/third shift type of thing. Bleah. He likes the job, he likes the people he works for, but he doesn't like the shift.

The 'chick is glad he likes his job and his boss, but she doesn't like the shift either. At all.

Anyway.

There are a few things that have been dragging at the 'chick - Redneck's work situation is one; the other one is the economy.

Now, long-time readers will know that the 'chick rarely ventures into political/economic territory but y'all - the 'chick is seriously nervous about what's going on.

In Tennessee, gas is averaging $3.60/gal (or at least it was 20 minutes ago - it changes so rapidly). Yes, gas IS higher elsewhere and the 'chick's heart goes out to you.

But it's scary. The 'chick's job is based on DRIVING. And it's getting too expensive to do it.

According to the news, Congress is looking into it. How reassuring.

What's your money-saving secret?

Procrastination

How appropriate that Eileen Cook chose to write about procrastination! Procrastination is the 'chick's middle name. Seriously!

For anyone who was not paying attention, Eileen is the author of this very entertaining book: If y'all are looking for an entertaining read, this is your book:


So, without further ado (or procrastination). . .

Procrastination has a bad reputation. There are entire books devoted to learning to avoid it and no one wants to be accused of doing it. We’ve turned into a nation of priority setting list checkers. I’m all for getting things accomplished, but I think procrastination isn’t always such a bad thing. A sample of the random things I’ve done while avoiding working on my book include:

Realized my hair dryer vent was clogged with fuzz requiring my focused attention and a pair of tweezers;
Brushed my dog’s teeth;
Searched for random items on Ebay, including grilled cheese sandwiches with the Virgin Mary burned into the side; and
Endless random surfing of the internet where I learned fascinating facts like more people are killed yearly by falling vending machines than in shark attacks.

The best part of being a writer is that all of this procrastination counts as work. Instead of calling it procrastination, we call it “brainstorming” or “research.” This fact, along with the idea that the writer’s work uniform consists of yoga pants and a giant sweatshirt and makes writing an ideal job.

For me procrastination is part of the process, I can’t jump right into the story, I need to sneak up on it. If I go directly at the project it bolts. Some of my best ideas I’ve tripped over while doing something else. If more people embraced their inner procrastinator who knows what they might discover? Procrastination is the mind’s way of getting off the highway and taking the back roads. Ask yourself- on your last road trip where did you find the really interesting stuff? The highway may get you there quicker, but if getting there is supposed to be half of the fun, then you’re missing out. Let your brain take an off ramp once and awhile.

Put procrastination back on your to-do list. Give yourself permission to waste a little time. Who knows what will come from it- if nothing else your blow dryer may end up lint free and you’ll know to give the vending machine at your office the respect it deserves.

Smackdown for Jesus

JERUSALEM - Dozens of Greek and Armenian priests and worshippers exchanged blows at one of Christianity's holiest shrines on Orthodox Palm Sunday.

Witnesses say the brawl erupted when Armenian clergy kicked out a Greek priest from their midst, pushed him to the ground and kicked him.

When police intervened, some worshippers hit them with the palm fronds they were holding for the religious holiday. ~ courtesy of CNEWS

Someone is gonna have some explaining to do when they get to the Pearly Gates. If that conversation goes anything like the ones that Roadchick's parents had with her when she did something wrong, it will go something like this:

God: So, anything interesting happen during Orthodox Palm Sunday in 2008?

Clergy/Priest: No . . . nothing I can think of.

God: Really? Are you sure?

Clergy/Priest: Yeah . . . pretty sure.

God: 'Cause that is NOT what I heard.

Clergy/Priest: Really?

God: ~tapping foot~

Clergy/Priest: ~thinking fast~

God: Mmm-hmm. So. Would you like to explain to Me why I looked down and saw a fight going on in front of one of My holiest shrines? And the two of you right in the middle of it? Causing it? And then getting everyone so worked up they were whipping the police with palm fronds? That I just got done laying a blessing on?

Clergy/Priest: ~pointing at each other~ It was his fault.

God: Oh, y'all are in so much trouble. Get yourselves to Purgatory and don't come out until I say so.

*****

Coming soon!

A guest post by Eileen Cook, author of Unpredictable.

If y'all are looking for an entertaining read, this is your book:

It's Earth Day

So, today is Earth Day. It's been all over the news and on talk shows - Oprah is doing a show about it this afternoon.

Little things YOU can do to save the planet.

The 'chick was at Walmart over the weekend and they had an entire magazine/flyer explaining how YOU can save the planet.

Seems like it would've been a better idea to save all those trees and run a video on the in-store system.

The 'chick is moving slowly towards more "green" products to use when cleaning - after all the "harmful" stuff is used up.

Because it seems like going green costs a lot more green.

Organic is another thing that's been all over the news and in magazines - the 'chick can see the benefits of eating/using/wearing organic products, but again - if these items have LESS stuff in them, why do they cost MORE?

It would be a lot easier to save the planet if it saved money too.

*****

Coming soon!

A guest post by Eileen Cook, author of Unpredictable.

If y'all are looking for an entertaining read, this is your book:

Top This

This morning, the 'chick got up and was rather pleased that she had something new to wear to work today. A new top.

Soon after arriving at work, the 'chick had the following conversation with an employee from another company in the building:

Emp: So . . . are congratulations in order?

Roadchick, looking down: No, it's just a shirt.

Emp: Oh, I am sorry - those smock shirts look like maternity shirts.

Roadchick: The 'chick is planning a trip to Target after work and wants to park in the 'Expectant Mother' space right by the door.

Fucking clothing designers.

***************

Coming soon!

A guest post by Eileen Cook, author of Unpredictable.

If y'all are looking for an entertaining read, this is your book:

Duh

Lordy mercy, the 'chick is tired.

Why is she tired, you ask?

Well, Patient Reader, Roadchick is tired because she is the single parent of a teenaged boy, otherwise known as Rockboy.

Rockboy, perhaps under the effects of spring fever, or new love (there is a new girlfriend), or one too many vanilla cokes, took it upon himself to just leave school after lunch. Every day. For the past two weeks.

The school finally got around to calling the 'chick about it a couple days ago.

(Why did it take so long? Who knows. Not the 'chick.)

So, the 'chick and Rockboy had a real come-to-Jesus discussion on Tuesday night.

It seems that Rockboy just figured that since he didn't particularly enjoy art class, his time would be better spent at the skate park or at the new girlfriend's house.

And, according to Rockboy, it never occurred to him that there might be a problem with that. After all, he's 18, right? An adult. In The Eyes Of The Law. (Or so he informed the 'chick.)

And that, Patient Reader, was the exact moment when the 'chick went postal and let Rockboy know that there was not a jury in the world that would convict her for MURDERING her "adult" son.

Rockboy. The poster child for birth control.

Unpredictable

Blogging can be very interesting sometimes. A few weeks back, the 'chick got an email asking her to review a new book, Unpredictable, by Eileen Cook. Always on the lookout for free books and a chance to talk about them, the 'chick was quick to agree and answered the email with a definite "YES!"

The other day, the Book arrived. Days when books arrive are always good days. The 'chick could barely restrain herself from hiding it in a chart or on her keyboard tray to start reading immediately even though she was at work.

Unpredictable is what could be classed as "Chick Lit" - how appropriate! The heroine, Sophie Kintock, has been in a long-term relationship with the man she considers to be her Mr. Right. Unfortunately, Mr. Right has moved out because he needs "space" and winds up meeting another woman. Determined to get her man back, Sophie decides to give the new girlfriend a psychic reading (even though Sophie is not psychic) that will scare her into breaking up with Sophie's Mr. Right. Of course, mayhem and hilarity ensue and there is a fantastic twist at the end.

Unpredictable is a very easy read - the 'chick was drawn into the story from the first page and finally had to sit down tonight after work and finish it to see how it was going to end. (Roadchick did NOT peek at the ending ahead of time. Congratulate her on her self-restraint.)

One of the best things about this book is that most of the ladies out there will be able to identify with Sophie and her behavior following the break-up. The 'chick knows that there were a couple of break-ups that drove her to consider taking up voodoo or learning to hex someone. Unfortunately, none of the 'chick's attempts led to the interesting turn of events that happen to Sophie.

When Ms. Cook emailed the 'chick, she mentioned that she would be willing to do an interview or a guest post at the Roadtrip. If you, Patient Reader, have any questions for a real, live, published author, please feel free to leave them in comments or send them to the 'chick's email and they will be considered for the interview.

You can visit Eileen Cook's website by clicking the link or at www.eileencook.com

She doesn't just talk about her book there - she finds a lot of funny stuff on the innernets and shares it with the rest of us.

With beach weather coming, now is a good time to pick up this book. It's available at major booksellers everywhere.