Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Frozen Pees

The 'chick routinely listens in on conversations when she's standing in line at the store or wherever she needs some amusement.

The prize-winner was overheard today, at Walgreens. A small boy and his mother were standing in line at the pharmacy and talking to another woman. Apparently, they all went to church together.

Woman (to small boy): We missed your daddy at church on Sunday. Was he sick?
Boy: No, Daddy couldn't come to church because his dick hurt.
Mother: ...horrified look...stammering
Woman: Really...
Mother: (trying to be discreet) Chuck had a vasectomy on Friday.
Woman: Oh, ok, well, that would explain him not being there.
Boy: We can't use the bag of frozen peas that he was holding there.
Mother: (now even more horrified) Well, the doctor did say that peas would conform really well....of course we've thrown them away.
Woman: (nodding, making a mental note to NEVER eat pea salad at the church potlucks again.)
Boy: Daddy said peas are good for his pee-pee.
Mother: Hush now.
Woman: Well, uh, I think I'll just go see if my pictures are done being developed.
Mother: It was nice to see you ...

See parents? Your kids do listen to what you say.


mist1 said...

I've got to remember that excuse the next time I need to get out of something. Hopefully, people will be too polite to point out the obvious.

heather said...

omg, lmao. i live in fear of what cheeks is going to blurt out. she's so outgoing and friendly as long as she's holding my hand or j's hand. the things that child knows. thank god she doesn't understand the concept of blackmail yet!

briliantdonkey said...

wow ROTFLMAO....

Dear Cheeks:

Email me, I will split it with ya.


Anonymous said...

Ya, they speak the truth. Nice post.

Michael Thomas said...

That'll be my son. He talks waayyyyyyyy too much as it is. He's already asking for a little kids whip. But he also bows and says Good Day, Milady, to everyone with boobs at Renfaire.

Susan said...

I think Michael's son may be the cutest sounding one evvvvvvvver. My ex's son was notorious for saying "Arie says daddy's going to helllllllllllllllllllllll" in the middle of church.

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Thank you for listening to that conversation because I needed the laugh;>

Unknown said...

This is the curse of being a parent. Your offspring will relate all the torrid details of your private life to any store clerk willing to listen.

Roadchick said...

Mist~ if you say your dick hurts, that should be all the excuse you need - for lots of things.

Heather~ the 'chick suggests brainwashing - starting NOW.

Donkey~ don't forget the 'chick's cut of that blackmail money.

Dio~ thanks for stopping by. Kids will "out" you every time.

Michael~ that must be confusing for the boy since there is such an abundance of man boobs in the South.

Ariel~ can't fault the child for telling the truth, especially in church.

Woo-Woo~ the 'chick nearly lost it while standing there. Fortunately there was a condom display to distract her.

Lux~ that is where tabloid reporters get all the good stories.

Wavemancali said...

'chick, google the word overheard and you will find a zillion sites dedicated to the overheard conversations out there in life. Whenever I want a laugh I go to these.

Roadchick said...

Wavemancali~ it's entirely possible that a great many of them are dedicated to the 'chick.

fringes said...

When I was five, I announced my dad's vasectomy in church. Kids overhear everything.

heather said...

bd, yeah right, i'll give her your message in about 20 years or so. maybe. lol
chick, i'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.