Rainy Days and Mondays . . .

I freely admit it's my own fault.

I went to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned and have a check-up. I have more than a little dental phobia so I do not go to the dentist as often as I should. I also cannot afford the outrageous out-of-pocket expenses very often so in between visits, I'm saving up to be able to pay for the next time that I go.

When I was younger, this was not so bad - a filling or two - no big deal. Now that I'm a little older, the price has gone up - shockingly.

When I was little, we lived in a house that had well water which meant there was no flouride in it. I also had a mom that did not believe in flouride toothpaste, apparently believing it to be poisonous or the work of the devil, but anyway, it was not used. Ditto on the vitamins with flouride.

The end result is a lot of dental work. And a lot of cash. How much cash, you ask? I really don't know. Apparently, the total is so enormous that the billing girl needed additional time to figure it out and will email me an estimate. I'm a little afraid to see what it says.

In other news, I've been spending a lot of time working in the garden. I know what you're thinking: what's this? Roadchick gardening? Are they snowmobiling in hell these days?

Yes, it's true. It started out innocently enough with three tomato plants that were given to Redneck. They were planted in the ground. Then it seemed like a good idea to get some squash and zucchini and cucumbers. Those were planted in the ground. Then I needed some flowers for the pots on the deck and for the windowboxes on the shed. . . and then there was a sale at Lowe's over the weekend . . . . and now I have a "gothic" garden on one side of my porch steps, complete with a gargoyle that Redneck brought home on Saturday afternoon.

Is anyone else just exhausted today? I think the dentist's office took it out of me and it didn't help that it was the monthly birthday pizza party at my office, complete with cake. I think I've got a carb overload going on but I could just put my head down and sleep.

Only one more hour and I can go home. Just lately, it's my favorite place to be.

And Then, I Yelled at Those Kids to Get Off My Lawn!

I'm a terrible, sentimental traditionalist. There are certain things that I don't want to change and if it's a memory I hold dear, I really don't want anyone to mess with it.

After a little sentimental Googling this evening, I found out that Santa's Village in East Dundee, Illinois went out of business a few years ago. I remember going there when I was a kid.

It was a Chicagoland area amusement park geared toward younger kids and built in a less-sophisticated time than the time that we live in now, but oddly, as a kid, that was exactly what appealed to me. I was the one that wanted to live in the Dick and Jane readers with a cat named Fluff when everyone else was all Strawberry Shortcake and Barbie's hot pink Corvette.

Santa's Village used to run commercials in the afternoons or on Saturday mornings when kids were home watching cartoons and if I remember correctly, for awhile, they had a jingle that went something like: "Any ride a quarter, six for a dollar!" (Yes, I know - you can't even buy a pack of gum for a dollar, let alone six rides at a theme park - or even a carnival. Now get off my lawn.)

By the time I nagged my mom into taking me, you just paid to get in and then rode all you wanted. We went on a day that wasn't really busy (apparently there were a lot of those, or else it wouldn't have gone out of business) so if we wanted to keep riding what we were on, we'd wave at the teenager running the ride and they'd just let it keep running as long as no one else was in line.

There was a frozen North Pole - coated in ice, even in July. There was a petting zoo too, but the ride that I remember the most was something called the Swiss Toboggan.


(Click HERE to check out other roller coasters of today and yesterday.)

The Swiss Toboggan was really the first "roller coaster" ride that I had ever been on and I imagined that I was quite grown up. The kid from next door and I had a whole elaborate game going on where we were rich and famous and had the park to ourselves, etc. We were always somewhere deep in our imaginations no matter what was going on around us. We always had a little embellishment, a little sparkle to add to the situation.

Do kids still do stuff like that or is it all Nintendo and texting and surfing the 'net?

It made me a little sad to find out that Santa's Village was gone - for childhood passing, I suppose, and the fact that times change whether we want them to or not.

Weddin' Nonsense

So, there's the dress that I'll be wearing whenever it is that Redneck and I finally tie the knot. We don't have a date yet, mainly because it seems that one commitment at a time is enough for the poor darling. He's going to be surprised when I just tell him when it is.



Can I tell you how ridiculously happy this dress makes me? I love the net underskirt part that hangs below the skirt - so Lucy Ricardo! It's just frilly enough without being a giant meringue of a dress.

The jackety thing may stay or it may go, depending on how the dress looks with a sheer pashima wrap that a co-worker has kindly offered to lend me. I'm not much on sleeveless so one or the other is going to be worn.

Since both of us have been married before, neither of us wanted the huge wedding with attendants and all that fuss. We were actually thinking about just going to the mountains by ourselves and getting married there.

Then, I got the phone call. From my mother.
(For those of you who have read Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, the Mother-of-Roadchick closely resembles Vivi except for the drinking and fun.)

Mother: Are you making plans yet?
'chick: For what?
Mother: Um, your WEDDING.
'chick: Oh. No. Not really. All I have to do is show up.
Mother: Hmph.
'chick: What?
Mother: Well, I certainly HOPE that you intend to get married in a church somewhere.
'chick: Well, no, that wasn't really the plan.
Mother: I'm sure that Pastor Smith would be happy to marry you at the church in town.
'chick: Why? I don't attend.
Mother: He would do it for your BROTHER.
'chick: Brother didn't even get married there. He got married in Vegas.
Mother: We are not talking about that.
'chick: Yes we were.
Mother: No, we were not. You need to give some serious thought to this.
'chick: Ok.

I seriously thought about it for two seconds and then dismissed it completely. I got married in a church last time. It wasn't really what I wanted then and it's not what I want now. I don't have a thing in the world against church, but it's not where I want to get married. Vivi hasn't brought it up again, but she will, when I'm least expecting it.

The fun part is going to be when she finds out that I've already got the dress. I wasn't actually looking for a dress but I found it, loved it, and bought it. No other shopping required. Vivi loves shopping. I do not. I knew when I put it on that it was The One. Vivi would've made me leave it there to hit eleventy-seven other stores to try on sixty-seven other dresses that made me miserable only to go back and buy the one that I knew was The One from the start.

Maybe I'll get her to take me shopping for shoes. . .

I Have A Secret

He asked.

I said yes.

'Nuff said.

*g*

{This Space Reserved for a More Amusing Post}

As soon as I think of one.

Life in the Roadtrip corner of the world is better now. Redneck wisely decided that he needed to get me out of town before something really bad happened. To someone else. Because I snapped and climbed a tower with a rifle.

Last Thursday, we got the chance to do a ride-along in IROC race cars and Mustang drift cars as a part of the Marlboro Hot Laps program. In a bad mood? Life going to crap? Going 140 mph will definitely lift your spirits. I highly recommend it. The only way it would've been any better was if they had let me drive.

On Friday, we got up and headed to Metropolis IL to the Harrah's Casino there. We took our time, took a 10 mile detour off the highway, hit some antique shops and then hit the casino. We didn't win anything, but it was fun. Then Redneck took me out for dinner and we just kicked back and enjoyed the time away together.

The hotel that we stayed at offered a free continental breakfast including waffles. The girl at the front desk was particularly proud of that and mentioned it several times and also informed me that there would also be boiled eggs.

I woke up pretty early but figured that no one really wanted to see me wandering down to the lobby in my pajamas so I got a shower and got dressed before heading down there.

When I got there, it was to a lobby full of rednecks (not to be confused with Redneck). I have a fondness for rednecks in general, but these particular rednecks had snaffled up all of the boiled eggs. I suspect they were packed in a cooler somewhere until they could hit Hardee's and snag some mayo, mustard, and relish packets. Voila! Dressed eggs for the picnic later! And free! That's good eatin'!

I also noticed that they ate all of the Froot Loops and Lucky Charms. Ditto the cinnamon rolls. The organic granola and bagels were safe for another day.

They were also in the process of setting the lobby on fire with the waffle iron. A rather large woman had commandeered the machine (blocking the coffee pot in the process) but had no clue how to operate it.

The iron was beeping like crazy and the little light on the front was whirling around like a propeller. She promptly turned around and HOLLERED at the front desk: "Something is WRONG with this-here contraption. I don't know how to work it. It's making noise."

I glanced over after nudging her out of the way of the coffee pot and told her quietly, "When it beeps, that means it's time to turn the waffle." After she picked the machine up by the handle and looked ready to launch it, I amended my instructions to: "If you will rotate that handle, the waffle burner will turn over and cook the other side of the waffle."

I am sympathetic to the technically and culinarily impaired, but it was a little ridiculous. The directions were on a large poster directly over the waffle iron. In pictures. With arrows. In color.

Since coming home, we managed to make it through Mother's Day without bloodshed. (This is not always a given.)

To balance out all of the good and lovely things that took place over the weekend, the Universe decided that in order to make sure my life was in balance, I needed a kidney infection to make me aware of my blessings.

There is nothing remotely amusing about a kidney infection unless you count the fact that the medicine they give you for pain does interesting things. Depending on which one you get (there are two basic varieties) you will either pee blue or red/orange. It's a fun little party trick. (Not really.) I was reading the insert on the one I got (the red/orange kind) and it informed me that if you wear soft contacts (and I do) that you should not wear your soft contacts while taking this medicine because "it can cause permanent staining of the lenses". What? Are you telling me that if I were to cry, I would cry red/orange tears? I'm halfway tempted to rent Terms of Endearment and try it out. Now THAT's a pretty good party trick for Halloween!

Insult to Injury

A UTI on top of cramps.
(Sorry, guys.)

Life is not fair.

Radio Silence

Patient Reader, Auntie Roadchick apologizes for the extended radio silence that has taken over the Roadtrip. Suffice to say, a couple of things in real life have my head absolutely spinning and following that old, old advice: Since I have nothing nice to say right now, I won't say anything at all.

I will be back, hopefully very soon, with the whole Roadie Crew.

Tell me something funny in Comments and make me laugh - please?