Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I'm distracted, y'all.

I'm sitting here at work and I should be working. Finishing November notes. Finishing an audit. Finishing something.

I'm thinking about all the stuff that I need to do when I get home. I need to do laundry. I need to sweep the floor. I need to dust. And vacuum. And really clean the entire house. The cobwebs are threatening to take over and Halloween is long gone.

And I have at least one report that I need to type for my part-time transcription job for fun and profit. And I need to mail back all those little tapes because they're really starting to pile up and in all honesty, I don't know how many I can keep before they'll have to buy more because apparently, I am starting a collection of them and can never part with any that I receive. Either that, or they may start docking my check to replace them. So, I need to go to the post office and mail the damn things.

I need to start thinking about the holidays. Amazingly, I am almost done with the shopping. Only Rockboy left to go. But he's the difficult one.

I need to figure out if I'm going to do the whole Christmas tree thing. And when. Speedbump LOVES the Christmas tree and dismantles it every chance she gets. And steals the ornaments. And hides them.

I need to get my ass to the DMV and get the renewal stickers for the car. I did manage to sit in a mile long line yesterday afternoon and get the emissions test done - why can't they just give you your stickers there instead of having to go to some other government building to stand in another line? And write another check.

I need to return a call to the Outlaws from this past weekend. They called but I was in a crap mood and didn't answer the phone. Because I am a bad person. I will make it up by ordering them a Christmas present. Add that to the list. Don't let me forget.

I need to remember to go to my mom's house to do her hair color on Friday. This is also the day that I have to change their beds. I am a traveling chambermaid. They have a housekeeper who comes every two weeks. I don't know why that woman can't change the beds. Actually, I do know. It's because this way my mother knows she will see me every two weeks whether I like it or not. What she doesn't realize is that if I didn't have to change the damn beds, I might actually come visit once in awhile.

I need to remember to keep my mouth SHUT on Thanksgiving Day and NOT get involved in all the family drama that is always swirling around. I've managed to stay out of it so far, but that's mainly because I believe that distance = silence. Thanksgiving Day will be the test of how well I can take my own advice and shut the fuck up and stay the hell out of it.

I need to remember to post to this blog more than twice a month.

I need to remember everything that I'm grateful for, including you, Patient Reader.

Have a wonderful holiday!

Monday, November 10, 2008

It's NOT Fair!

I have managed to catch a cold.
That makes it sound like I've done something really difficult - like catching a fairy with a snare set with moonbeams and marshmallows. Or a 10 pound bass with yarn and a safety pin.
Actually, I think it should be the other way around: A cold has managed to catch me.

Let's rewind just a bit.

Remember a few weekends ago, when Redneck and I went to Gatlinburg for the weekend? And we went poking around in dusty old buildings up on Cades Cove and I got a sinus infection? Remember?

I went to the doctor and got fixed up with some antibiotics and just finished them - YESTERDAY.

Now, I know that antibiotics don't mean a damn thing when it comes to colds since colds are viruses. That is not the point of this.

The point of all this is: IT'S NOT FAIR. I was just sick. Now I'm sick again. And at the end of the virus-y cold part, I will develop a sinus infection laden with bacteria that will need to be treated yet again with antibiotics, that I just finished taking.

And, of course, I have a crushing schedule this week with absolutely no time built in for inconvenient things like illness. I'm desperately trying to shuffle things around to fit it all into four days instead of five because I'm working from home today to keep the contagion to myself. My co-workers have threatened me with death before for coming into work while sick and I don't want to go see clients and possibly make them sick OR (huge possibility) pick up something else from one of them who caught a bug somewhere.

It's cold and flu season, darlings. Use your hand sanitizer. Sure wish I had.