We Have Inches To Go Before We Sleep

"Inches," you say, "why, Roadchick, that's nothing. Quit whining already."

If it were a marathon or a crawl to the safety of a beach after being nearly drowned, the 'chick would agree with you.

The inches the 'chick is referring to is: Inches of paper. In a chart. That is made up of 3 four inch binders. That should've been completed DAYS ago.

This chart is truly in the realm of making War and Peace look like a little beach reading for a sunny afternoon. It's kicking the 'chick's ass.

In the course of her job, auditing charts is pretty interesting but it's amazing how many different writing styles there are - just within one company.

Most of the people working as case managers have college degrees. Four-year college degrees. Which should have, at some point, included at least ONE course in "How to Write So You Don't Look Like A Damn Fool - Oh, And Spelling, Too". Apparently this class was offered early in the morning at most universities and hungover students skipped a LOT.

There are plans that would make the mind reel. Thoughts not followed to conclusion. Choppy paragraph structure. Run-on sentences so long that they make the 'chick's brain explode and ooze from her ears. Plans that make the 'chick want to open a blank template and start revising immediately.

But.

In a tactful world, this cannot be done. People are amazingly possessive of what they write and are offended by the suggestion that it could be done better. Even though they've bitched the entire time they've been writing, they don't want a better looking end product, even if half the state is going to read it at some point.

And so, the 'chick turns another page, takes another drink of coffee, and shudders.

Only five inches to go.

Mama Warned There Would Be Days Like This

In the South, there is no such thing as PMS.

There is, however, FTS. What is FTS, you ask?

FTS stands for "Fixin' To Start".

Had the 'chick known that today was going to be a FTS day, she might have stayed home so that the general public and her co-workers would've been safe.

The early morning hours did not give any indication of the true levels of bitchiness that the 'chick would achieve in the next few hours.

There is a huge crunch going on at work which is standard for this time of the year and the 'chick in particular is under the gun to get a lot of highly detailed work completed in a very short amount of time.

The finish line for this work is in sight, but still far enough away that it took very little to set the 'chick off. The particular chart that the 'chick was auditing was no worse than any of the other 12 that the 'chick has gone though in the last 10 days. What was worse was the 'chick's state of mind.

When the company computer dude came in to fix a template on the 'chick's office mate's computer, he said, "Let me just get a cup of. . ."

And the 'chick promptly said, "Gin? Because if the 'chick had to do that every time a plan came in from that person, she would need a cup of gin."

And that was when she took a deep breath, packed up her laptop and the chart she was working on and headed out the door, promising to return in a better mood tomorrow.

Everyone say a prayer that tomorrow will be a better day. It will be safer for everyone.

Hanging On

Yes, the 'chick sucks. Gone forever, posting crap when she does appear and then suddenly reappears only to whine about how horrible things are.

Actually, things aren't all THAT horrible. Just a case of the mean reds and at the moment, even those aren't too bad.

Some of it has to do with not getting good sleep.
Some of it has to do with being majorly stressed at work.
Some of it has to do with expectations that the 'chick holds that others do not.
Some of it has to do with the fact that Rockboy turns 19 today. (Happy Birthday, Rockboy!)
Some of it has to do with PMS and stopping the meds a wee bit too early. (Every month, the 'chick tells herself not to, but she's feeling good and a little bit cocky and then it all goes to hell.)

Last weekend, Redneck, Skaterboy, and Roadchick went to Gulf Shores, AL for a couple of days of sun, sand, and surf. It was a nice little break where nothing was accomplished except swimming, eating, napping, reading, and some knitting. The mean reds got worse while driving in to work this morning and realizing that exactly one week ago, the 'chick was sitting in an Alabama Cracker Barrel, drinking coffee and looking forward to hitting the beach. Why is it not last week again???

This weekend, there are possible plans to head to a local waterpark, depending on how much other work-related work needs to be done by the 'chick and if Redneck has stuff he has to do.

Really, darlings - all Auntie Roadchick wants to do is curl up and have a nap. It's a little bit grey and rainy here - perfect napping weather.

Have a good weekend!

Thanks, Heather!

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Gone Crazy

Sigh.

It's a holiday weekend which means the 'chick was released from work early, at 1:00. This is good news.

The bad news is that when she got home, it was to a house full of teenagers.

The 'chick intended on coming home and doing some cleaning before the weekend officially got underway, especially since it seems like forever ago since she did a good cleaning.

It's very difficult to clean while teenagers are in the house. They move away from cleaning implements (natural avoidance) but wander back into just cleaned areas once the scary objects have gone away.

By scary objects, the 'chick means dust rags, vacuums, glass cleaner, etc.

So, after 2 hours, what is clean is the kitchen (since there is no food in the house, there is no reason for teenagers to go in there), the 'chick's bedroom and her bathroom.

The living room looks like Taco Bell at closing time.

The guest bathroom is like the boys' locker room after wrestling practice.

The dining room is passable (only because there are no electronic devices in there and there is no food in the kitchen).

And, the 'chick gives up. The urge has passed.

If they go away, there will be a quick wipedown of surfaces in the living room and the vacuum cleaner will be pushed around the carpeting.

The odds of them going away are slim because Rockboy's car is down for repairs following a catastrophic failure last week. Redneck is fixing it, but he's had to do it between maintaining his own paid employment. Fixing Rockboy's car does not constitute paid employment although Redneck would probably say that there are benefits to it.

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. Stay safe!