Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Nigella . . . Bites

Roadchick is a FoodTV addict. Until a couple of weeks ago, the only time she could feed this addiction was at Redneck's house, since the 'chick absolutely refuses to pay for "good" cable. While her "basic" cable package includes 20 channels, including all the church and shopping one could hope for, it does not include FoodTV.

One afternoon, for no good reason whatsoever, the 'chick decided it would be a good idea to re-program her TV channels. Why? Perhaps the muse of FoodTV was whispering in her ear. As the TV flashed through all the channels the 'chick knew she had: 2 through 22, church and shopping at no extra charge, the 'chick wandered off to get a drink.

When she came back, the TV was finished with whatever it does to re-program channels. Just for giggles, the 'chick clicked her way through, one channel at a time. The channels did not stop at 22. They jumped from 22 to 78. On channel 78, Rachel Ray was busy working her way through a 30-Minute Meal. The 'chick sat down.

Two hours later, she got up. All her old friends were back: Rachel, Paula, Alton, Emeril. (The 'chick is on a first name basis. You understand.)

Rockboy was ecstatic. Rockboy knows that when his mama watches FoodTV, there will be meals. Roadchick will cook things. From scratch. Voluntarily.

On Easter Sunday, while the 'chick was cooking dinner for 14 people, Nigella Lawson came on at noon. Usually, at noon on Sunday, the 'chick is having breakfast with Redneck, or on her way somewhere - far away from the TV.

Nigella, with her delightful English accent, was explaining her concept of "Temple Food". Basically, what this meant was eating healthy, lightly cooked foods, mostly of Vietnamese or Thai recipes. Lots of fruit. Lots of vegetables.

It is entirely Nigella's fault that the 'chick stopped at the grocery store on her way home from work last night, to buy the following:

*yogurt (Sidenote: If you have a Publix nearby - RUN to the dairy department and buy some honey almond yogurt. Words cannot describe how delicious it is.)

It is also entirely Nigella's fault that the 'chick fully intends to consume at least one container of yogurt while reclining in a bath, lit by candles.

Not to worry, Patient Reader. This fad will only last as long as it takes to consume the lot - a few days. By then, Ace of Cakes will be on and the 'chick will be under the impression that she is actually a pastry chef.

Let them eat cake!


Autrice DelDrago said...

My Better Half is a food network junkie. It enhances our kitchen to a great extent!

I agree with you - I do find that my notions and cravings seem to be dictated by whatever program I've stumbled upon. We need our Emeril! We need our Good eats! We can not go a day without Iron Chef, Ace of Cakes, or that woman who has a set change every show!

Eat, or die!

mist1 said...

What does "from scratch" mean? I cook from papercut. Like the one I got last night opening the box that the pizza came in.

Reba said...

I love Ace of Cakes. I love the food network, but I have yet to try to cook something I saw on there.

heather said...

rachel, paula and alton are all personal favorites of mine. for some reason or another i just don't get into emeril like i used too. congrats on the food network find. try not to think of how long you've had access to this channel without realising it. :-)

Roadchick said...

Autrice~it's like a religion, almost.

Mist~At Chez Roadtrip, scratch usually means "Get out of the kitchen while cooking is going on or else your eyes will be scratched out."

Reba~"Try" is usually the operative word at Chez Roadtrip. Not everything is edible.

Heather~Thanks. That thought had not occurred to the 'chick. Now it has.

Pacian said...

Re. Food: I actually thought of the 'chick last night, while eating a veggie burger at an affable roadside establishment called "Boss Hogg's".

PS. I was under the impression that Nigella was poorly received in the states, for offending your puritan sensibilities.

Geosomin said...

"It is also entirely Nigella's fault that the 'chick fully intends to consume at least one container of yogurt while reclining in a bath, lit by candles"
Damn staight. I like the way you think.

Nigella makes all food that is yummy...my husband laughs at my food TV addiction, but after Nigella or the Naked Chef I usually whip up delicious things, and strangely enough...mum's the word. I suppose it's hard to talk and eat at the same time.

Scottsdale Girl said...

I sit in front of Food Network ALL DAMN WEEKEND. Love me some Paula Deen and Rachel Ray. Although I had to let Rachel grow on me (Figuratively) Because that gigglesnort laugh of her? Used to make me want to take my own spleen out with a spoon.
Can't wait to see the seance on Ace of Cakes

Roadchick said...

Pacian~a veggie burger at Boss Hogg's. There's an oxymoron for you. Puritans may not like Nigella. Foodies do.

Geosomin~Welcome! Redneck and Rockboy do not mock the FoodTV. They welcome the addiction.

Scottsdale~a seance? You wouldn't tease the 'chick, would you???

Scottsdale Girl said...

NOpe !Mary Alice is gonna go all voodoo and shit.