Redecorating with Roadchick

It's Springtime, when Roadchick's fancy turns to redecorating.

For some reason, when the weather starts to get a little better, I always get the urge to do something to the house. Last year, Redneck and I remodeled Rockboy's bathroom. Since his bathroom is also the guest bathroom, this was a wise choice. It went from white walls and a white vinyl floor to coffee-with-cream colored walls with a dark brown/green/gold vinyl tile floor. It's easier to mask dark hair fallout with a dark floor.

This year, I really wanted to do my bedroom, but figured the dining room should be done first since I host the annual Easter dinner for about 20 people. They were tired of looking at scuffed white walls and a damaged chair rail where the floor guys slammed into it with their pneumatic hammer.

I've had my paint colors picked out for about a year so I went to Lowe's and went shopping. Wall paint. Check. Trim paint. Check. Brown paper to cover the floor. Check. Blue painter's tape. Check. Check. Check.

Redneck had been asking me when we were going to paint. I figured that meant he was onboard with the project. Wrong.

On the Friday evening, I started clearing out the dining room. Pictures off the walls, knick knacks in boxes, as much furniture as possible out of the room.

On Saturday morning, I started putting down the brown paper to cover the hardwood floor. The bottom half of the hutch was in the way. The table was in the way. I shoved the table into the hallway, blocking the living room doorway. Fortunately, there is another living room doorway. I shoved the hutch through the doorway into the kitchen, mostly blocking that doorway. I continued papering the floor.

It's a lot harder than it looks on HGTV. There were many taping accidents. There was bad language when there was a strip about 5 inches wide angling down into nothing that had to be covered with a whole extra sheet of paper. The dining room is either NOT square or my papering job was off. Either one is a possibility, and probably both are true.

And then I started taping off for the painting. And I taped. And taped. And taped some more.

FINALLY, it was time to start painting.

The ceiling.

I hate painting ceilings. It's painful, it's awkward, it's boring, AND you have to watch out for the light fixture so you don't paint it white or speckle it with paint spray from the roller.

I was in pain by the time it was finished.

I dragged the rickety ladder in and started edging the wall. And then I painted the wall. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Then I looked back at the first part of the wall and realized that the paint was not covering completely and I was going to have to go back over it - just a little - to cover the little speckles where it didn't quite cover.

Retouch. Retouch. Retouch.

Halfway through, I ran out of wall paint. I bought another gallon, because I wanted to do the little hallway outside Rockboy's room. There should be enough.

I will not continue to regale you with every single pass of the roller and brush, but I will tell you that it took me exactly ONE week, an hour or two at a time through the work week, to get the whole thing finished, including all the blasted crown moulding, chair rail, baseboard, and doorway trim.

ONE WEEK.

Redneck assisted for exactly 23 minutes on Sunday evening and I later had to go back over all of his "edging" of the wall because the color was not even.

But, it's finished and it looks nice:




I started the hallway on Sunday. I papered the floor, taped the edges, painted the ceiling then started the walls. It's a short hall. Should take a day, no more than two.

Right.

I ran out of ceiling paint and had to get more.

I forgot to factor in drying time for the massive spackling job that I had to do on one of the walls, where Rockboy's fist "accidentally" went through it.

And, when you're up on a ladder, close to the ceiling, you can really see the places that you missed when you painted.

And, apparently, after so much time spent inhaling latex paint fumes, it makes you paint like a drunk monkey and get green paint all over the freshly painted ceiling that you didn't completely paint the first time. This was not an issue in the dining room. Not ONE spot of green on the ceiling. Not ONE. And no bald spots on the ceiling either.

At one point on Sunday, I also managed to somehow step on the edge of the roller tray and flip it upward, spatter-painting the leg of my jeans with ceiling paint. And some of the hardwood floor not covered by brown paper. And possibly the cat. (It's easier to get paint off of a hardwood floor than it is to get paint off of a black cat who is trying to bite you.)

And then, to add insult to multiple neck, back, arm, and hand injuries caused by repetitive stress. . .

I RAN OUT OF FUCKING GREEN PAINT.

I got the first coat on and needed to go back and "cover" all the places where the paint didn't cover well the first time. And fill in the edges. I used what little paint was left in the can to get the edges.

I resorted to scooping paint out with the brush, into the roller tray and diluting it with as little water as possible, desperate to get the damn walls done so I could touch up the ceiling and paint the trim.

I'm going to Lowe's tomorrow to buy one quart of green flat enamel paint. And another roller, since I trashed the one I was using without thinking. Time involved? (Minus 2 evenings off due to other work-related commitments) ALMOST ONE WEEK. The hallway is approximately 8 feet long and 3 feet wide. ONE WEEK.

I think I'm over the painting bug for this year.

Redneck asked about painting the living room. The living room with 14-foot ceilings. And carpeting. Because we could rent a scaffold and do it in no time.

Bless him.