Monday, July 10, 2006

And they never let poor Roadchick

....join in any Redneck Games!

Y'all, Roadchick did not know there was such a thing until she was listening to the news this morning. Her invitation must have been lost in the mail. One young redneck was heard to proclaim, "There ain't a lot of teeth here, but there is a LOT of beer drinking."

Events include: the cigarette flip, the mudpit belly flop, bobbing for pigs' feet, the big hair contest, the hubcap hurl, the seed spitting contest, bug zapper spitball, dumpster diving, and the armpit serenade.

Roadchick has taken a personal inventory and is pretty sure that she coulda been a contenda in the cigarette flip and the big hair contest. Not that her hair is big as a rule, but Roadchick remembers back in the day when all hair was large. Roadchick had big rock&roll hair, but she could do big country hair if necessary.

And the cigarette flip...well...let's just say that she's had a bit of practice. Roadchick is proud to announce that in years past, she WON a Miller Lite lava lamp during a bar contest in which one had to flip a folded paper football (remember those?) through the "goal posts" (2 beer truck drivers holding their hands up) and the football that went the farthest, won. Roadchick came home with that lava lamp, much to the disgust of all the redneck boys who had practiced and trained for this very event during all those years in study hall and detention back in high school.

According to the website (linked above), it's $5 per carload to get in to the Redneck games, and y'all can be pretty sure that Roadchick will be marking next year's date on her calendar and planning a roadtrip. Whether or not she will participate will depend on her training, where did she put Darlene Hair-Do's phone number???