Wednesday, January 16, 2008

In Which The 'Chick Tries Very Hard Not To Go There

Mysterious title, no?

Auntie Roadchick shall explain, darlings.

Last night, while driving home, the 'chick was chatting on her cell phone. A good friend and co-worker was on the other end and many, many topics were discussed.

Toward the end of the conversation, Mr. Malaprop said:

Did you see on the news where they busted that cock ring?

Roadchick: . . . (moment of breathless silence). . . followed by hysterical, screeching laughter

Mr. Malaprop: You know, that sounded wrong in my head, but it came out of my mouth anyway. What is it called, then?

Roadchick: (still screeching) It's a cockFIGHTING ring. Not a cock ring.

Mr. Malaprop: Oh, I said something bad, didn't I?

Roadchick: (more screeching laughter) Slightly.

Mr. Malaprop: What if I had said that at work? Can you imagine Mr. Bossman's face?

Roadchick: Oh, the 'chick would pay for tickets to see that.

Mr. Malaprop: Are you sure it's not a cock ring?

Roadchick: (swerving slightly on the road, still hysterical) Tell you what - you go Google cock ring and cockfighting ring and see what you find.

Mr. Malaprop: (a minute later, post-Googling) If I had said that at work, I would've have to move to Africa. To Zimbabwe or somewhere. No one would ever see me again.

Proof yet again, darlings, if it sounds wrong in your head, don't let it come out of your mouth. If you do, please make sure the Auntie Roadchick is nearby so she can blog all about it.


Susan said...

Cock ring. Oh god I just spit water all over my desk. I couldn't hold it in. Thanks for the laugh, Auntie.

heather said...

lol, i had a slight moment of confusion there. wondering just how exactly in their official capasity police would be messing with a cock ring. was it on display at the smithsonian? was someone trying to steal it?

poor mr malaprop! lol

Sheila said...

just when I needed a good laugh!!!

you are too much and that's why i love ya!

LIz said...

I'd love to meet a cop who could bust a cock ring. Even if it was a one night stand.

Knit Witch said...

Hahaha!!! Too funny! I second Liz's comment! I would at least like to see a video of that.

NoRegrets said...

Thank God I didnt' have water in my mouth or else I would have spit it all over my desk... lordy!