Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Catching Up

It's September, isn't it? How did that happen?

August was crazy - back to school, the Outlaws' semi-annual visit, tons of work.

So, the Outlaws were here, on and off, for two weeks. Roadchick managed to keep her level of crazy to a bare minimum with the cleaning and going to the grocery store and the general level of insanity that she manages to achieve before houseguests descend.

An extra Outlaw inserted herself into the mix this year - an elderly aunt who lives in West TN. She rode the Greyhound over on a Sunday afternoon and had to be picked up at the bus station. Roadchick is very familiar with the bus station since she spent the Fourth of July there last year.

Aunt "I Don't Want To" made quite an impact with her visit. It was good to see her again but lawd, y'all, she was difficult to entertain. When the Outlaws come, the 'chick always tries to plan some activities so they can get out and see some different things - it might be a trip to the Country Music Hall of Fame, or Second Avenue and Broadway where all the country music clubs are located, or a trip to Jack Daniel's Distillery. Maybe a trip to Metropolis, IL to the Harrah's casino there. Something, especially since the 'chick usually takes a couple of days off and to take time off work, there should be an activity planned.

As you've probably already guessed, Aunt "I Don't Want To" threw a monkey wrench into the works. Out of respect for her age, the 'chick did not plan a hike to Fall Creek Falls or anything that would be too strenuous.

Aunt did not want to go to the Country Music Hall of Fame. She'd already been there. Twenty years ago. It did not matter that the exhibits change periodically. Once was enough.

Aunt did not want to go to the casino. She had her handheld slot machine game. Why pay money?

Aunt did not want to take a bus tour of the country music stars' homes.

Roadchick despaired. What to do?

After wracking her brain, she finally came up with something. The Roadie crew would go look at the Amish, in Ethridge, TN.

(Yes, the 'chick is aware you're not supposed to take pictures but those kids were SO cute! And they didn't know their picture had been taken because the 'chick was inside the car.)

The Roadie crew visited several farms and came home with a TON of fresh produce - tomatoes, cantaloupes, purple hull peas, and a pile of watermelon. What is a pile of watermelon? The crew also wondered until one of the Amish ladies explained what she meant.

We asked how much the watermelon was. She said it was $2.00 for the one on the porch or else $5.00 a pile. Huh? She pointed to the right of the porch. That pile there is $5.00, for all of them.

So, seven watermelons for $5.00.

Load 'em up.

Roadchick was wildly popular for a couple of days until all the watermelons were handed out. Now, not so much since she no longer has fresh produce to give away.

(And, as an interesting side note - all produce grown on Amish farms is organic because they don't use any chemicals to fertilize. They spread manure. They do not pay for the organic certification, but they don't have to - as long as you know it's natural.)

Anyway, the trip to the Amish? Not so successful, as activities go, at least with Aunt "I Don't Want To". She was not impressed.

So, the next day, the 'chick hauled everyone to a local Confederate cemetery. Yeah, not impressed. Then on to a cute little antique shop, where the Outlaws always love to go. Nope, not impressed.

The next evening, the Roadie crew met up with Redneck to eat catfish on the river. It's a little bit of a drive, but there is a bunch of interesting stuff to look at on the way. Aunt commented, "This is so far out, I don't know how they stay in business."

That was when Roadchick took a deep breath and took a Xanax. To prevent a killin'.

It's been a long month, y'all. A long, long month.

(In other news, there is a new book review up. The link is on the right.)


heather said...

ah, sounds like the temptation to say 'i don't want to' the next time she needs to be picked up at the bus station will be a true test of your character.
who the hell needs anymore tests in their life? ;)

yay, new book review. i'll head right over.

Roadchick said...

Heather~ the 'chick is oddly docile when it comes to stuff like that. Auntie will be picked up - but nobody said the 'chick had to like it.

Susan said...

You are my hero, my dear. This reminds me why I forbid my family to come and stay with me. It's just the best for all parties involved.

Roadchick said...

Susan~ it's like giving birth. You forget the pain until it all starts up again.