Tuesday, December 26, 2006

It's Boxing Day - Wanna Fight?

It's the day after Christmas & the 'chick hopes that yours was lovely. No, the title of the post has nothing to do with anything in the post except possibly down at the end. Maybe. Sort of.

For after Christmas giggles, the 'chick has been checking out her stats. This is an activity that can quickly become obsessive in Roadchickland so other than checking the numbers quickly, she tries not to indulge.


Since she's not working this week, she took the time to dig a little deeper. The keyword searches have been cracking her up this morning. (And, it's better than taking down the Christmas tree or cleaning up little bits of shredded paper.)

Evidently, a LOT of people were struck with the urge to make Banana Pudding this holiday season. Why they came to Roadchick is not clear. She thought she had made it evident that she CANNOT make Banana Pudding. She even renamed it Nemesis Pudding. It is her Cooking Shame.

A lot of other people (relatives, evidently! Hi y'all!) wound up at the 'chick's site while looking for lyrics to "Merry Christmas from the Family". Those cousins wandered in with search terms that included:

extension cord chain smoking feliz
the typical american family Christmas, egg nog, margaritas, lights, cigarettes
redneck christmas with the family

Others have dropped in looking for cleaning squalor, squirrel pee, and Martha Stewart gift wrapping techniques.

Bless their little hearts. Probably never knew what hit them.

So, Christmas.

Redneck was very pleased with his giftages. The 'chick done good. For those of you following along, his well-thought-out gift was a chrome fire extinguisher for his show car. It was something he saw & mentioned wanting and then promptly forgot about it but the 'chick did not. His other gift was a Dremel tool. For some reason, most men seem to want one of those. The 'chick thinks it's the male equivalent of a KitchenAid mixer for the girls. We all want one, even if we're not sure what we're going to do with it once we have it.

Redneck's gifts to the 'chick proves that he knows her pretty well. There were four - one thing she wanted, one thing she needed, one thing that was funny (at least to the 'chick), and a little something extra. The thing she wanted was a bottle of her favorite perfume that she has to con others into buying for her because she would never spend that amount of money on herself. The thing she needed was a universal remote for the TV/DVD/VCR in her bedroom. Now one handy remote replaces the other three that didn't work half the time. The funny thing was a penguin that you fill up with candy, wind up, and he poops it back out. It matches the pooping sheep that she got at the beginning of the Christmas season. And, she got a candle that smells delicious. So, she was happy.

Christmas was at her brother's house where she proved yet again that Auntie Roadchick buys the best presents. Her niece and nephew demanded that those gifts be unpackaged immediately, much to the chagrin of the other relatives who spent a lot more. Christmas is a competition, y'all. Didn't you know that?

Much to Speedbump's dismay, her Christmas tree jungle gym will be coming down today.

Christmas evidently doesn't agree with Speedbump - she spent much of the day yesterday wandering around and meowing her head off. When she wasn't doing that, she was nested on boxes under the tree. If someone so much as reached for them, they were swatted with her foot.

Well, the 'chick has procrastinated as much as she can so it's time to do some work around the house and then maybe even go shopping. Rockboy's Christmas cash is burning a hole in his pocket and he wants to go to the mall. That ought to be fun. Not. If y'all don't hear from the 'chick soon, send a search party.


Michael Thomas said...

The Search Party is gathered and on Standby. So is the Swat Team, in the event that you get REALLY frustrated at the mall.