Thursday, December 21, 2006

Roadchick's House of Kwistmas Kwazy

At Chez Roadtrip, it is not an uncommon occurrence (Y'all, the 'chick does not know if that word is spelled correctly. It doesn't look right no matter how she types it. Anyway.) for things to be left to the last possible minute.

The Christmas holidays are upon us.

Now, the 'chick has done her shopping. Mostly. She thinks. She Made A List (sort of). She's still in the Checking It Twice mode.

Did she buy enough? Did she forget anyone? Oh yeah, there was that last minute invite to Redneck's mama's house on Christmas Eve. What do you give to a woman that is an unknown entity for the most part, but that you would still like to impress? The 'chick does not know what she likes. She does not know what she dislikes. What about all the kiddos - are there enough giftages to satisfy? Does the dollar amount count versus the quantity? Do toddlers understand THAT ratio???

Roadchick and her two brothers chipped in and bought a new TV for the parental units only to find out last Sunday - ONE WEEK FROM THE DAY OF PRESENTATION - that the parental units had been out television shopping. Not only had they been out television shopping, they had somehow managed to wander into CompUSA (a store they NEVER go to since they do not own a computer) to look at the exact TV that was purchased for them and then completely dissed the television by saying that they really felt, for them, the picture on the Sony was far superior.

What do you do in a situation like that?

After a brief phone conference, it was decided that they're getting the TV that they don't like and if they really don't like it, they can return it and buy something else on their own time.

The parental units, as you may have gathered, Patient Reader, are very difficult to shop for. What do you buy for people who have everything and have enough money to buy whatever they want? Apparently, you buy them a TV that they don't like.

The 'chick valiantly offered to accept the TV as her Christmas gift, just to be helpful. She is not proud. Not a bit. Her offer was refused.

So, back to list checking: Redneck.

The 'chick put a little bit of thought into his gift and bought him something that he mentioned wishing he had but now she is wondering if that is enough. One gift. Granted, a well-thought-out gift. Mediumly expensive but not over the top. How much does one spend on a boyfriend of 4 and 1/2 months? Without appearing to be a freaking stalker who bribes with expensive gifts?

The 'chick is thinking she will pick up a small something-or-other to go with the "big" present. Is that enough? What? She does not know.

The other thing that she does not know is what he got for her. She knows that there is a gift because he called her on Monday afternoon when she was on her way to his house. He called to let her know that he was stuck in Midtown traffic because he had had to go to work to pick up the tracking number for her stupid Christmas present that the FedEx guy had tried to re-deliver after being told to put it on hold at the depot and Redneck would pick it up. Redneck was afraid that it would be sent back, so he drove into the city on his day off. The 'chick asked him what was in her stupid Christmas present but he wouldn't say. And then today, he said that she could not go Christmas shopping with him on Saturday because, well, because. Now, y'all, that clearly indicates multiple giftages.

There is more shopping in her future. Sigh.

And then, there's the baking. The 'chick likes to bake so maybe it won't be such a chore. She was assigned dessert for the Christmas feasties at her brother's house. She knows that she won't be taking Nemesis Pudding. She just doesn't know what she will take. She's voting for something chocolate, but then some people want "something light" to which she was tempted to reply: then suck wind; but she didn't.

Admire Roadchick for her restraint at the holidays.

Christmas cards? They were a no-go this year. Some years she sends them, some years she doesn't. This was a doesn't year. It keeps the relatives on their toes.

Y'all will be proud to know that the Christmas tree is up. It was doubtful but apparently a Holiday Bug bit her butt on the way home Tuesday so she came home, hauled out the tree, and up it went.

On Wednesday, Roadchick and Rockboy came home to find that Speedbump had climbed up INSIDE the tree (as usual) and had dismantled the entire front half of the tree. It took 15 minutes to put it all back to rights.

On Thursday, Roadchick and Rockboy came home to find that Speedbump had climbed up INSIDE the tree (as usual) and had dismantled the entire right side of the tree. It took 10 minutes to put it all back to rights.

On Friday, Roadchick and Rockboy fully expect to come home to find that Speedbump has dismantled some other side of the tree and fully expect to spend a minimum of 10 minutes putting it back to rights.

The good news is that Roadchick wisely used the glass ball ornaments this year and Speedbump hasn't really messed with them. Apparently they are too hard to carry to her water dish.

It's gonna be busy around Chez Roadtrip over the next few days, so here's hoping that y'all enjoy the holidays with the ones you love best.

Merry Christmas! And God bless us, every one.

Roadchick, Redneck, Rockboy & Speedbump


Kim G. said...

"She's voting for something chocolate, but then some people want "something light" to which she was tempted to reply: then suck wind; but she didn't. Admire Roadchick for her restraint at the holidays."

Having dealt with my own family-fest of disfunction this week, you ARE my hero Roadchick for your superhuman abilities to restrain yourself around people determined to make your life difficult. I think I may apply for president of your fan club . . .

Merry Christmas to you and your merry band of Roadies!

mist1 said...

I would have offered to take the tv also. But, I'm giving like that.

Pacian said...

I'm a big fan of scattergun present giving. Get them something that you really think they'd like, something else you'd like them to have but which they may not like and a little knick-knack so that if they hate all the rest at least they have *something*.

Happy Christmas 'Chick and family, btw!

Roadchick said...

Kim ~ the 'chick restraint is sometimes spelled X-a-n-a-x

Mist ~ it seemed to be the right thing to do. Can't think why they didn't jump at the offer...

Tinker said...

Well at least you're making good time on re-assembling the tree - you improved 5 minutes from Tues. to Wed...
Hope you and all of your Roadies have a very merry Christmas!

Michael Thomas said...

Merry Christmas Hon. I can only hope that yours ended up as stress free as mine, despite misgivings to the contrary. Mom, son, and misc family made it out the door without the chainsaw treatment. They've already had one of those in Texas. I'd have to go to New Mexico to share the wealth.

Be safe, Dream True.