Thursday, March 01, 2007

Channeling the Colonel


There are not many days that the 'chick gets to indulge in daytime TV. Her bosses do not understand that it is vital to be able to keep up with what is happening on "Montel" and "Ellen" and "Oprah". It's more special when you're on a first-name basis.

Wednesday morning was different.

Roadchick got a call from the office manager on Tuesday night. She said the building would be closed for at least part of the day on Wednesday because a pipe broke and there was no water.

Wednesdays are always a good day to be home because Sylvia Browne is on the Montel show, doing her psychic thing. She knows who the murderer is in an unsolved case. She knows that a man in the audience has a piece of metal in his pocket and it changed his life. One man in the audience has already had 42 lives. The 'chick doesn't want 42 lives, unless she gets richer in each one.

Sylvia never gives out winning lottery numbers or tells people which horse to bet on in the third race.

The 'chick wants to go on Montel and talk to Sylvia Browne. She spends time wondering what she would ask if she had the chance. Would she ask which departed relative was thinking of her? Would she ask where her missing earrings are? Would she ask which career best suited her?

The sad reality is that if the 'chick had the chance to talk to Sylvia Browne, she would most likely disgrace herself and ask something completely stupid.

"What are the 11 herbs and spices in the secret recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Sylvia Browne is the Google of the spirit world.

6 comments:

mist1 said...

Who doesn't want to know that secret combination?

Personally, I am pathetically a Dr. Phil kind of girl. I have clearly been in too much therapy if I love this show. I know that I should hate it, but I can't help it. I love it when he tells people what sorry shape they're in.

Today, I watched that show by the guy who wrote the book He's Just Not That Into You. I loved it. It is a ridiculously stupid show. I am a little ashamed of myself. Still, I wish that someone had thought of asking him about that secret recipe.

Killer said...

If she was such a great psychic she would call you first.

briliantdonkey said...

My question/comment would be Are you a better psychic than madame cleo? If so why didnt you answer me before I asked? On second thought and after 8 misses my new question is what the HELL is this word verification?

BD

heather said...

oh bd, don't you just love it when the wv kicks your butt! i usualy give up for the time being after 4 tries though.
i never got into phil, oprah, donahue or any of the other 'all you gotta do to be a better person is ...., type shows. i ~know~ what i gotta do, i'm just too lazy to do it.

Ariel said...

I can't watch any of them. They make me want to take a long walk off a short pier..or maybe push them off...hrrmmm..

Pacian said...

Sylvia: Your husband's death maybe had something to do with water?

Woman: Um, well, actually he was killed in the World Trade Center.

Sylvia: No, it was definitely to do with water.

I think this Sylvia character is a little too arrogant for the whole cold reading malarkey.