Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Killer Jeans



From Yahoo News:

NEW YORK - Naomi Campbell says she very much regrets losing her temper and hitting her maid with a cell phone over a pair of missing jeans last year. "I felt very remorseful for having thrown the phone at someone that didn't deserve it," the 35-year-old supermodel tells the TV show "Extra" in an interview set to air Tuesday. "I have a deep sense of shame for the things I've done."

What made her do it? It was "tiredness, lack of sleep (and) just so many things," she says.

"I was being really destructive to myself. ... I didn't know how to reach out," she says. "It was a really scary time."

Campbell, who has a reputation for angry outbursts, pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault last month for hitting Ana Scolavino in the back of the head with the phone last March. Scolavino was treated for a head injury.

"I threw a cell phone in the apartment. The cell phone hit Ana," Campbell said at her court appearance. "This was an accident because I did not intend to hit her."

In exchange for her guilty plea, she was ordered to pay Scolavino's medical expenses of $363, do five days of community service and attend a two-day anger-management program.

"I do therapy every day," Campbell tells "Extra," adding that she's also partaking in the healing powers of crystals: "I think they bring great energy. ... You should see how many I travel with."

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Here's what wasn't said:

"I warned that bitch to stay the hell out of my closet. Did she listen? Hell no. Like her fat ass could fit in my jeans. And that cell phone wasn't worth a damn after that. I ought to make her pay for that. Damn hard head."

The 'chick translates for you:

"I have a deep sense of shame for the things I've done." Translation: It was a shame I got caught. I can't believe she turned me in. Does she not know who I am???

"I didn't know how to reach out," she says. Translation: You mean that's NOT what "Reach out and touch someone" means???

"This was an accident because I did not intend to hit her." Translation: Or at least, not where she could prove that I did.

"I do therapy every day," Campbell tells "Extra," adding that she's also partaking in the healing powers of crystals: "I think they bring great energy. ... You should see how many I travel with." Translation: Shopping counts as "therapy", right? My crystals cost more than the medical treatment for the head injury.
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In the want ads tomorrow:

Wanted, personal maid. Must have references and pass a background check. Must wear larger jeans than employer. Helmet provided. Must be able to carry large bag of crystals.

11 comments:

Pacian said...

Must wear larger jeans than employer.

Well, that's me out.

mist1 said...

I used to like Crystal too. Then, I got help.

Roadchick said...

Pacian~ You've got what all the girls want.

Mist~ Try Cristal. It requires a different kind of help but lots of the same people go to those meetings too.

heather said...

wow, didn't know you were fluent in supermodel. is there something you need to tell us?

briliantdonkey said...

well I HAD a real comment to make but that picture distracted me. Allow me to save michael the trouble of saying(in an old sergeant of mine's voice) NICEEEEE pooooooper.

BD

Michael Thomas said...

I think you one upped MIST on the sexy blog pics for the week.

heather said...

i may have been mistaken, she wasn't speaking in supermodel, she was speaking in selfish b*tch. easier to translate. i should have picked up on that last night.

Roadchick said...

Heather~ the 'chick is fluent in a lot of things, but they make medication for that. Selfish b*tch is a specialty.

Donkey~ thank you for noticing.

Michael~ she took the picture for the 'chick. That's MIST's balcony.

mrsmogul said...

Funny jeans pic! Naomi is gross, No likey her.

Bice said...

Should have hit her in the head with that bag of crystals. Wouldn't have straightened her chakra and her ass out right quick.

Roadchick said...

Mrsmogul~ odds are, Naomi was gassed.

Bice~ that would be a waste of a good hamburger.