Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Best Valentine's Gift EVER



Valentine's Day is coming, y'all. It's on February 14th, in case you weren't aware of that.

Roadchick has been thinking about Valentine's Day. It's been a long time since there was a "special someone" in her life to share it with. Somehow, the 'chick just wasn't dating anyone each time the Holiday of Love rolled around.

When the 'chick was still married, the Now-Former-Mr.-Roadchick was not known for having great skills in the gift-giving arena. At Christmas, the 'chick could usually count on receiving socks and some sort of appliance. Unfortunately, these were not the appliances that relied on batteries - they were the appliances that required the 'chick to do some sort of cleaning or cooking.

Still, each year, as Valentine's Day approached, the 'chick would be hopeful, certain that this was the year that she would get a piece of jewelry or flowers or something that was at least a little bit romantic. Something that showed that her spouse had actually listened when she dropped not-so-subtle hints, such as, "Wow, that is an amazing necklace. The 'chick wishes she had one." and left the sales flyer folded open at the page with a sticky note on it with a message like: This would look so great with that black sweater.

Alas, the hint was never picked up once it was dropped.

One year, actually the last year that they were married, the Now-Former-Mr.-Roadchick came home on Valentine's Day carrying a long box, festively wrapped in shiny red foil with a big bow on it. The 'chick's heart leapt, certain that this time it would be different.

After a few minutes of breathless anticipation, the 'chick was allowed to open her gift. She eagerly ripped the bow from the package and tore the paper away. The box did not give any clues but it was gratifyingly heavy. Slowly, preserving the moment, the 'chick opened one end of the box and slid the styrofoam packing out.

After all their years together, he had finally gotten it right. The Now-Former-Mr.-Roadchick had bought the perfect Valentine's gift.

Because nothing says "I love you" like a .22 rifle. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

5 comments:

heather said...

chick, it's official. you are a goddess of restriant. either that or you ~did~ shove it where the sun don't shine and just forgot to mention it.

briliantdonkey said...

Hmmm I seem to notice that rockboy is conspicously 'absent', 'away' and 'at a friends' house a lot since the infamous phone call a couple of weeks ago.

BD

Michael Thomas said...

She hasn't let him out of the closet yet.

Roadchick said...

Heather~ His friends thought he was crazy. Who actually GIVES their wife a rifle???

Donkey~ What are you trying to say?

Michael~ That key is around here somewhere.

fringes said...

Free Rockboy!