Que?

The 'chick sent out the call for help and y'all responded. Without further ado, here are your questions and the 'chick's answers.

Fringes asks:

What are your five all-time favorite movies?

This list is always changing, but right now, the 'chick is in love with:

1. Slingblade
2. Chocolat
3. Goodfellas
4. Breakfast at Tiffany's
5. Memoirs of a Geisha

Who are your five all-time favorite boyfriends?

Heh. Tricky question.

1. Redneck, of course.
2. Kid Rock
3. George Clooney
4. Sean Connery
5. Bam Margera (for those cradle-robbing instincts)

Why did you stop talking to your best friend from high school?

She was a bitch. Actually, she accused the 'chick of trying to steal her loser boyfriend. The 'chick had no interest in stealing that genetics experiment gone wrong, but the former BFF didn't believe that.

How do you deal with solicitors at your door? Are you friendly or do you use your rifle on 'em?

The 'chick doesn't get many solicitors anymore. The main reason is because the neighborhood she lives in prohibits door-to-door sales. This does not stop various churches from stopping by from time to time to try to persuade the 'chick that her soul needs savin'. The 'chick gently discourages these pilgrims by inviting them in to see her altar. Since Rockboy usually has some sort of hardcore metal blaring in the background, the faithful usually take this to mean that there just might be a sacrifice of some sort on the altar and decline the invitation.

In years past, in another neighborhood, when the Jehovah's Witnesses were making the rounds, the 'chick would call her neighbor to warn him they were on the way. He would answer the door in his underwear, drinking a beer, and waving his service pistol around (he was a cop). As you can imagine, that also tended to discourage repeat visits.

Never, ever give them money. Ever. Even to make them go away when you have a hangover.

Susan asks:

What's your favorite pick-up line?

Take your pants off and roll over.

Fords or Chevys and why?

Chevy. Always. Forever.
Ford=Fix On Road Daily
The 'chick is a Chevy girl.
No Junkstangs in her garage. Payback wouldn't have it.

If you were on a deserted island, what would you take?

A speedboat.

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Go south, turn right.

What exactly do you think the male in the song "Sylvia's Mother" did to Sylvia that was so bad that her mom wouldn't even let him tell her goooodbbyyyeee?

He was obviously a bum with no money. He never did deposit forty cents more for the next three minutes. Puhleeze.

Bice asks:

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?

One, two, thuh~ree....crunch...three. It'd be less if it was a liquid center.

What tricks can you do with your toes?

They disappear when the 'chick stands up. (Mother Nature loves the 'chick.)

Tell us about the first/last time you remember wearing a dress.

A couple of months ago, the 'chick had to go to a funeral and came to work in her "going-to-a-funeral-or-possibly-a-costume-party-dressed-as-Calleigh-Duquane-from-CSI-Miami" best. About half the people in the 'chick's office asked if she had a job interview. The other half jokingly wanted to know "who died".

Belly button, innie or outie?

Actually, the 'chick prefers a snap to a button.

Mist says:

I always like it when people talk about me. Other than that, my newest infatuation is with all the new judge shows on tv. I'd like to be on one. Do you wanna try to get on Judge Christina or something?

Um, why? Are you going to sue the 'chick? How 'bout Jerry Springer instead? That way the whole crew of Bloggies can come along to share in the dysFUNction.

Michael asks:

Describe your most bizzare dream.

When the 'chick was pregnant with Rockboy she had a LOT of bizzare dreams. The worst was the dream that there were giant cockroaches living in the attic and they were waiting for the baby to be born. The same dream also included the 'chick's mother as a witch. Which was oddly accurate. Anyway.

Tell us about something you hide IRL (in real life)

Chocolate. It ALL belongs to the 'chick and y'all can't have any. Ditto for the vodka. Oh, and the porn.

If you had one place to vacation without worrying about the cost, where would it be and why?

Great Britain. Because that is actually where the 'chick should be. She has a feeling that her temperment is better suited to being there. Plus, she adores high tea. And gin.

What is the aerial speed of a swallow carrying a coconut?

A European swallow or an African swallow? Flying singly or in pairs with the coconut suspended between them? Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Sorry. Got carried away there.

Pacian asks:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, what is that?

About 1.6 million after the lawyers take their cut.

Y'all, the 'chick hopes that this entertained you as much as it did her. Thanks so much for playing along!