Thursday, July 19, 2007

No Diving

Last night, Redneck and Roadchick went to Wally World to buy a crockpot.

Roadchick came home with a swimming pool, air pump, and a crockpot.

Now, granted, the swimming pool cost all of $30.00 with an extra $10.00 thrown in for the air pump to blow it up. But, still.

The 'chick has wanted a swimming pool for years. Nothing too elaborate - an aboveground pool would've been fine.


The neighborhood association (neighborhood assholes?) have some funky rule about "No aboveground pools". Inground pools are fine. With prior permission before installation. The 'chick has inground pool taste on an inflatable pool budget.

The neighborhood does have a pool at the "Recreation Center". The pool is not much larger than the inflatable pool that the 'chick bought and is always full of children, most of which are not potty-trained. The 'chick is not particularly eager to swim in the neighborhood toilet bowl, so she came up with a reasonably priced alternative.

Redneck laughed when the 'chick dropped the box containing the pool into the cart. He asked why she was buying a wading pool.

"It's not a wading pool. It's a wallerin' pool. To lay outside in the sun and waller. And get a tan. And not get hot."

"Your neighbors are going to think you've lost your mind and they're still going to turn you in for having a pool."

"Not if we have pool parties."

"This is all starting to sound a little too much like a 1970's wife swap. Who is going to bring the Jello mold?"

"Oh hey - good idea! We can have Jello wrestling in the evening!"

"Then you'd better buy a patch kit."

"No, it's only funny until someone punctures the side."

"You do realize that you're not right in the head, don't you?"

"Yes. Do you think Jello will turn people's skin funny colors? Or stain the towels?"

"Better get the sugar-free or else there will be ants everywhere."

"The 'chick does not want relatives coming over."

"Not aunts - ants - the little bugs? Oh nevermind - just go pay for this stuff."

Pool party at Roadchick's house this weekend. Y'all are invited. Just don't bring your aunts.


heather said...

fill the pool with ice and beer and call it a cooler. you sitting in it will just be considered normal behavior after a while. :-)

Roadchick said...

Sadly, the neighbors would probably consider it normal behavior the first time the 'chick did it.

Probably the most normal thing that's happened in a long time.

Poor, poor neighbors.

Susan said...

Yes, the jello would stain the skin and towels.

Do not ask how I know this tidbit.

Roadchick said...

So, in other words - avoid the blue raspberry.

Good advice.

Michael Thomas said...

Just a note: You have to get chlorine for that size pool, and you have to treat it REALLY often, because they get really hot which breaks down the chlorine. Sad part about it - no chlorine - those things will turn pea green with algae in two days.

Roadchick said...

Chlorine will make the Jello taste funny.

heather said...

would dumping a bottle of everclear kill the algea? that way you could still eat the jello. now ~there's~ a block party. ;-)

Roadchick said...

See? Now there is the kind of thinking that we need around here.