Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Now, on to Other Things

Now that the 'chick has posted the tricksy HTML for the DNA thing...ONWARD!

Update to the Skull In The Basement: the 'chick inquired yesterday and there are no updates from the CSI/Medical Examiner lady. The head has not been returned. The 'chick went to the house for lunch and had a good look 'round, but didn't spot any other skulls or loose body parts. She did not inquire where the leftover roast came from though.

Funny of the morning: This morning, Roadchick and her son, Rockboy, drove through (thru?) McDonald's because you can never have enough greasy goodness in the morning. When the 'chick was driving forward to join the queue at the speaker, she was CUT OFF by a rather large man in a Volvo. Now, y'all - is the Roadchick wrong for thinking that that was not necessary? It's not like McDonald's is going to RUN OUT of food. Not like there is only one McMuffin left in the free world. Anyway.

Because Roadchick has a memory like a Commodore Vic 20 computer, she writes herself little notes about things that she wants to mention here. (Actually, that's kind of sad and pitiful, but let's examine that another day, ok?) There is actually quite a list of stuff and a lot of it has to do with television commercials. (Again, another sad commentary that not only does Roadchick apparently watch a LOT of TV, she also has time to take NOTES (!) about it and save them up like some sort of nuclear squirrel hoard.)

But, with no shame and no pride to get in the way, here we go:

1. Local sign company: Why (why?!?) did you make all of your employees dress up like Coneheads from Saturday Night Live? Why? The 'chick hopes they were richly compensated to make up for the fact that every single living person that knows them has taped or TiVo'd that commercial and will blackmail and ridicule them for the rest of their lives and beyond.

2. Local patio furniture company: "We make your patio furniture dreams come true."
What? People dream about patio furniture? All the 'chick can say about that is...she wants some of whatever y'all are smoking because she has never ONCE dreamed of patio furniture. Ever.

3. Edge Active Care Shaving Gel: An ugly (sort of ugly. not very attractive, anyway.) guy sitting there (or standing, it's been a little bit and apparently, the notes were not as good as she thought) after using this wonderful shaving gel. And then, there are these female hands rubbing all over his face. Eww. It's the creepiness of the disembodied hands that the 'chick doesn't like. That, and the fact that if you use THIS PRODUCT, you too can have creepy female hands all over you because, after all, women base all relationships (personal and sexual) on what shaving gel you're using. Men, take note. Buy this gel - NOW!

4. Jack-In-The-Box: What does the guy inside the head look like? And why does he have regular skin on his hands, not plastic hands?

5. Gatorade: This is a commercial that cracks the 'chick up. The one with the bobble heads running around, playing basketball & the closing line is "Shut your big head up." This has been added to the 'chick's list of sayings.

Other Random Stuff:
One of Roadchick's friends was trying out the Yahoo Personals thing. She had a date with a gentleman the other night. He was not really what she was expecting, but apparently a nice man. Who brought her a HANGING PLANT as a date-gift. To the restaurant. Roadchick cannot top that one. She hopes she can never top that one.

Roadchick's personal home laptop died a slow and smoky death. She had to pull the old desktop computer out of dry dock and hook it up. It's been awhile since she's used it. She forgot that it still runs Windows 95. Slooowwwwwwly. Most of her posting will be done from work. Why? Because the hamster inside the desktop computer is old and tired and Roadchick's patience is being tried this week so she resorts to whacking the computer for being old and slow. Better to not add to the aggravation. Better still would be a winning lottery ticket that would enable her to buy a new laptop or an unemployed computer nerd to do her posting for her. "Boy, take a blog post!" "Yes ma'am, Ms. Roadchick, right away!" Hee!

The 'chick is on the road for work this week, so hopefully some sort of interesting something will happen. It usually does. And the 'chick will be there, notepad in hand, taking notes about it so she can remember to tell y'all about it later on.


Michelle said...

Hey, thanks for making me laugh! :-)

My son Sky and I love to sit and pick apart commercials. We both love media literacy-type stuff, nerdiness running in the family. The Hummer one is my fav, where the kiddo gets pushed out of line, and the kids mom, having been dissed by the bully kid's mom, goes out and buys a Humvee. Yeah.

Pacian said...

The head has not been returned.

ALWAYS get a receipt.